In which circumstance you feel most negative?
How are we becoming Negative these days?
Negativity is a common world phenomenon. With the advent of the pandemic, many people have been pushed indoors and now they have to spend hours with family members (who they usually avoid) or, are forced to spend time with themselves which is even more challenging. People are unable to maintain silence or even seen to be incapable of handling themselves, all on their own. The result is that there is growing frustration because all your actions and efforts have now been curtailed within your homes. What can you do to kill time? Moreover there is this question of survival which seems to be getting the better of you and is adding to your disturbance. You cannot but feel negative and lost. If you are troubled by negativity or negative thoughts, it is important to understand that something within you is improperly aligned. Since you were earlier free to move around, meet with people and less restricted, you were somehow evading the question of alignment because you would somehow keep yourself busy on the outside, ignoring the negative cultivation that was happening in your inside all the time. This improper alignment could be because of several reasons and we shall see how. Some of the common notions that negative people carry about themselves or the world are discussed below. There are some fixes discussed. It is important to identify these flaws and attend to them with one-pointed attention so that you can work your way out of negativity and lead a better or meaningful life.
Nobody seems to understand me
People always want to speak and be heard. They do not want to hear others. There is always something brewing within and most people are interested in throwing that out on others without caring too much as to what they are actually doing. When there is no auditing of thoughts and the mind is in an unkempt condition, negative people generally prefer others to hear them rather than looking deep into what they are doing. If you are not feeling okay and comfortable, one does not realize that whatever one is speaking is usually of little value or even toxic. But people are more concerned about themselves and want to be heard without realizing that they themselves are blurting out emotions and ideas which are toxic to the listener. How then can anyone try to even hear them, leave alone understanding them.
Solution to understanding problems
One cannot expect others to understand them, in the first place. Just like one is being troubled by one’s own distorted mind, others too are dabbling with the same problem. Easier said than done. But that is the plain fact. It is futile to expect that someone will understand us. There is nobody, no messiah out there. Everybody is on the lookout for some saviour. Solution to this problem is to first collect oneself through some practice. It is important that instead of trying to express and letting down that rush of emotion, one should direct that energy into something that will transmute or convert that energy. Taking up jogging or a light-exercise daily is a good way to begin. If you are not inspired, get inspired. Watch videos of your favorite sportsman and get inspired to begin some form of practice. If you used to draw well, try to see whether that can give some direction to the mind. You can take up any skill or learning activity. This shall direct the negativity of the mind into some fruitful direction. It is also important that you do this just as a hobby to divert your mind rather than to expect any spectacular output. This will go a long way in releasing the negativity of the mind. Once you get busy with some of these activities, you shall not have much to discuss with others because all your negativity shall have been gone by then.
No one likes me
This problem comes from feeling inferior or getting jealous or envious of others. This is the root cause. You try to compete with someone and then when the other man sees your actions, he shall automatically detest you. You may be doing these activities even without recognizing consciously, that you are doing it. The first thing one needs to understand that you cannot expect anything out of the external world. Everyone is sailing in the same boat and each one of us is expecting to be loved or liked by someone else. This is a thankless emotion and one will only meet with failure. It is also useless trying to please the other. The other will always want to show that he or she is better that you in some way rather than trying to understand that you are seeking his attention or love. Never try to seek attention. The best thing to do is never expect anything from anyone. Build yourself in such a way that your skills and work speak for you. Also do not expect anything from your skills or work too. With time, even they shall leave you. It is better that you take up work or skill to keep yourself positively engaged. Do not give too much importance to the attention that you may get as a matter of fact. Today you may be liked and tomorrow you may be shunned. It is better that you spend time building your character. Get motivated towards building your skills and get seriously engaged with work. This will automatically build a lot of positivity around you. But the most important point is, accept in your heart that, even this too shall pass.
I am unable to pursue anything
Many times we are filled with apprehensions and a lack of confidence. We get overtly affected, thinking about the result of what we are about to do or perform. Due to this tendency one is anxious and not able to focus on things. This also takes the person into a negative loop. To transcend such a position, the person has to learn to detach oneself from the gains that work shall deliver to him or her. One should spend more time sharpening one’s axe. One should train oneself in the nitty gritty of work. If one is not certain as to whether one shall be able to perform work satisfactorily or not, it becomes essential to break down the work into smaller units and understand nitty gritty of the work without worrying much about the end result. Usually it is knowledge and understanding of things that puts an end to fear, anxiety and negativity. As one learns to engage with the work from the angle of knowledge and sharpening skills, one shall never face challenges with regards to pursuing things. It is also important that one should have a natural drive towards things or work and that it should be born out of one’s own interests and not forced upon the individual. Only then shall the individual be able to involve himself in the act of pursuing that, which one cherishes in the heart.
I get disturbed easily
One can get disturbed easily only when there is lack of focus, or attention. This can be a great cause of negativity or concern. It is important that one should try to weed out all those things from the mind that is not intended towards one’s progress or fundamental interests. It is important that one is cognizant of what is desirable and what is undesirable towards one’s goals. Then one should focus on eliminating the diversions that does not allow one to focus. It is also important that one should keep away from distractions that hold the mind in fancied imagination. One of the greatest way of keeping the mind from distractions is by learning to meditate. The mind has to be cleansed and clarified through meditative practices such that it does not hold anything that is detrimental towards one’s goals. For example, if one is addicted to watching movies, one can introduce meditation as a compulsory 20 minute process. As one meditates correctly the mind shall lose the ability to draw enjoyment from such distractions and shall prefer to be calm.
We all want solutions to problems. Today, your own thoughts have created turmoil in your life. So, what is the possible solution? How can you get rid of thoughts that trouble?
Practice of Sanity
It’s important to be sane. When you audit your thoughts, they reduce. When they end you become free from the miseries of the world. Ending thoughts has been the goal of all religion. Spirituality is aimed at getting this sanity. The world is getting insane because it is the mind which runs and rules the world. The mind is usually uncontrolled and hence influences your actions in a very negative way. Any entity that is not controlled goes awry. Once you get clarity in your thoughts, it means that you are now getting ready to reduce the clutter that unnecessary thoughts have created, which locks within it, unbridled emotional patterns.
Role of Spirituality to gain Sanity
It is behind the thought screen that Supreme intelligence resides in the form of the undying spirit which you know as the life force. Hence, the first step towards sanity is to end the thoughts which give rise to unnecessary action, causing misery. When you are sorted enough, you get a hang of yourself, your actions. Meditation is a great way to get tarried thoughts under control. Meditation starts with the slowing down of the mind-process. It involves either concentrated focus on one thought or the other way is to relieve the mind by watching its content without getting attached to it or interfering with the thought patterns. A regular habit of watching the mind in an unattached way will eventually reduce the thoughts per minute, surfacing in the mind. Sanity is the end of all thoughts, in other words it is the gateway to bliss and knowledge. It is devoid of misery. This is the goal of life. Getting to this state of maturity is very difficult without guidance. Spirituality is the key. Follow a disciplined spiritual practice, this shall contribute towards cleaning the mind. It promotes healthy living as well as honing a sane mind.