Life process is in one’s hands. However one blames ever so many things for the lack of peace and happiness in one’s life. People blame other people, situations, one’s destiny and so many things for their failures. One thing that people discount in one’s analysis of one’s life is their own presence and indulgence with life. Other than one’s own self, the blame is on the rest of the world. This is perhaps the most startling observation that one can make about one’s own life and also the life of others.
We see that certain people try to “take charge” of one’s life in all respects. They control their family members which includes their own parents, wife and children. They do not allow anyone to be part of the decision-making process, whatsoever. If one were to observe one’s surroundings carefully, this is a common sight. I have seen the man of the house, interfere with things like, what the family should eat or not eat. The man decides what will be cooked for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The man decides what his wife shall wear and what games his children will play. The interference is so interceptive and domineering that one would feel that even an animal can be seen to have more freedom. People try to dominate in every aspect of life and yet they remain sulking with growing dissatisfaction. If they are to interfere and dictate, logically speaking, life were to have gone better for them. It is however observed that, the diametrically opposite is true.
The more people develop an interfering mindset, the more they remain dissatisfied and become complaining by nature. Their stress level mounts and they find themselves in the midst of relentless action and turmoil all the time. A mere observation of the society sprawling around us, is enough to reveal a telling Truth. An obvious learning from these observations of life is that the more one interferes with the natural flow of the life-process, the more he shall suffer. The more one tries to gain control over others and one’s own self, the more he shall lose control of even the most obvious thing, that one should have anyway gained control over. For example, the more interceptive man becomes with the life-process, the more he shall become stressed and lose a hold on his health. He shall always remain disturbed, distressed and dissipated.
Then what is the alternative? The best way to gain control, is to surrender all control. The more one relaxes and stops interfering with other lives, the more shall the mind and body get relaxed and rejuvenated. This is the mantra to “gain” control. One needs to understand that a person who allows life to flourish without trying to interfere with it, is a man of matured intelligence. When the bodily energies are harmonized inwards rather than an attempt made to mess with the outside, more shall the life-energies co-operate with such an individual. If an individual gives the necessary freedom to one’s family and allow them to flourish in line with their interests, there shall be real peace and happiness in that family. The head of a family should only serve the family in his best capacity. One should realize that the more one relinquishes one’s so-called rights and discharges only duty, the family shall automatically flourish. One needs to be supportive and loving to everyone in the family. There should be encouragement and inspiration in the family rather than domination and disparagement. Only when one renounces one’s selfish and self-centered attitude,this feeling that “one knows” what is good for the family, can there be amalgamation and synergy within the family.
A great way to attain this synergy, is to first get the family together without forcing them to come together. When one is utterly patient with the family and cares for the smallest wishes of the members within one’s family, one shall then enjoy support from the family. This should be a conscious effort. Its an old saying that a family that prays together stays together. Prayer and meditation should be an integral part of the family practices. The chief of the family, should take pains to address each family member and gain their trust and faith. When we show empathy and care, the rest of the family will respect one’s thoughts and opinions. Spirituality should be at the helm of affairs within any family. Proper directions should be given to the family members and the head of the family should strive to induct values in the family. Taking up a spiritual discipline for the family, based on each member’s comfort will be a great idea. The head of the family should also take active part in the interests of the children and guide them, in a direction which the children want to take with regards to their education and career. If the head of the family is a sorted out person, with a matured spiritual background, there is no reason for any of the family members to stray. The family is the most nuclear unit of the nation. Only if the learning of the chief of the family is deep enough, can the family around such an individual be able to contribute towards nation building and progress towards self-actualization.